Week 12 - FT410 Negotiated Project

Week 12

I am working, frantically on bringing the whole thing together.

1. Garments in progress
2. Walls to be painted- work in progress
3. Sketchbook – completing and thinking about the order for presentation; box bought.
4. Small sketchbook, fill in gaps
5. labels to be decided
6. Invites collected
7. Music burnt onto disc
8. Room booked for models, to change. Hair & Makeup
9. Calming thoughts to myself, telling myself it will be okay, and I will get through this and do well.
10. Sent out invites to friends and people I have worked with who would be attending. LA, China & Turkey
11. I am now dealing with condescending comments from negative people in a calm way as I can not spare the energy or time.
12. Pick up sign and quotes from Fad Pad

I feel I have grown as a person in this module, the self doubting person that I started with in week one is somehow a different person. The support of Zowie and Sian throughout the 12 weeks has helped me accomplish what I think I came on the MA to achieve . I do have what it takes to express my ideas, I do have ideas which I am excited and passionate about. I am committed to the extent where I am not bothered by waking up at 6am everyday and leaving Uni at 10pm wishing I could have just one more hour to do one more thing.

I feel like a child at a fairground where you always want' just one more ride' 

Absurd ‘v’ Acceptability. My garments are both but neither at the same time. They command  a moment  for one to really take a long look and think about what one is looking at. Hence the quote;

“It is only when the mind and character slumber that the dress can be seen”

  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Week 11

I have had to order 2 of my fabrics; both picked up. One perfect, one with grease marks, sent that back, came back with smaller grease marks but had to cut around it. At £45 a metre you would expect more.

This journey has taught me two very important things.

1- I am a perfectionist when it comes to anything to do with my work and as for the hard nose bitch I thought I was, I start to cry simultaneously when things aren’t as they should be. I wear makeup so I would not by choice want to start crying at the drop of a hat. I persist until I get what I think is perfect. I have made about 5/6 toile’s for each of my dresses. I remake to see the whole thing rather then change a small parts.

I may be a case study for my title Absurd ‘v’ Acceptability

2- Throughout this module I have had 5 people helping me over the 9 weeks. I have had to listen to some really feeble excuses as to why they can’t come in. It’s almost like they are trying to feel important, and enjoy watching you plead ,and try to explain just how important this is  to me. Constantly trying to resolve and work out ways to get around their issues. the, trying to get people to think laterally as I have only one shot at this.

Due to it being such a short course once you have started working with someone you have to persevere. Stop start doesn’t work. I by nature always look for the positive in people and think it won’t happen again.

The space needs to be painted, as well as the floor platform. I have decided on the design and graphics I would like for my invites and sent them off to printers. Decision making is not one of my strengths so hence I have sent off 2 versions. I am very pleased with with the post cards which i designed and Balv who is now helping me on a on going basis formated and sent off.
The post cards are invites one to handed out before and one once they have viewed the exhibition as it will make more sence. 

Ordered the shoes and booked a new makeup artist from AOFM.

Lighting; I am happy with the natural daylight but have two hanging spotlights for the very end of the day.

INVITATIONS

Exhibition Space

Floor Plan: Colour Combination

Week 10

I had a meeting with Zowie Moday morning before I started teaching at LCF. I went through my proposal for the space i want to use; curved wall, small platform for all 3 of the models to stand on. I was looking into hiring rotating plinths. This meant each of the girls would slowly rotate on plinths. This with curved walls I think would be too much. The price for hiring for a day at £685 made it an option to be considered at a later date.

I spoke to Dom in regards to my music. I was thrilled to have received three options by the end of the week. The piece I have is just right for the kind of ambiance i am aiming to acheive..

I think the music is an important part of setting the ambiance. The music I have selected does just that. I want the audience/viewer to feel calm, relaxed and transitional almost.

Sign for wall

"Nothing is as it seems. Black can appear white when the light is blinding but white loses all luster at the faintest sign of darkness." - Christopher Pike  

Appearances are not held to be a clue to the truth.  But we seem to have no other.  ~Ivy Compton-Burnett

It is only when the mind and character slumber that the dress can be seen.  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Week 9

Week 9

I selected the space I will be showing my collection of garments. We decided I will have curved walls. I have spoken with Dave Ring, and Mark Snowdon, they both have said they would help build the curved walls only if I buy all the materials.i.e flexie MDF. 

Spent a day doing fabric research, I went Shepards Bush, Misan and Mac & Wallis. Sample machinist has finally started to come in ,she seems really good when she is in, she is on a tailoring course and has her own dry cleaning business. So I seem to be fitted in between short slots.

Continued working on my 3 shapes. I may make one of the back dresses in a heavey black jersey.

Hair & Makeup

Models

Week 8

Teaching at LCF this week. This I did not realise how tiring it is. I really don’t want to be away from uni for too long, but have no choice. Came into uni to do my timetable for Zowie with help from Charlotte.

I have contacted Yan, a hair stylist, who also gave me contact details for a makeup agency (AOFM). I started looking for possible hair styles and researching on shoes for the three outfits.

I have written a theoretical piece Absurd ‘v’ Acceptability, but I think it is still very raw,  i think it is the beginning of  some real soul searching theoretical work. I am very excited by the whole topic. I will show the work to Sian to see if i am on the right track. 

Week 7

This week i Continued working on the 3 designs I have selected.This week we were asked to show our work at Zowie’s studio. I only got as far as showing one dress on Jacq, but that was fine they know that i know what i need to do i.e sculpt all the shapes on the model.
 I was told I am not academic, so I shouldn’t try and be, and just make clothes which once again knocked me. I now feel even worse then before with regards to my written work, i fear writting for the fear that it will be wrong or dull, but hay we can't all be good at everything. 

I am really excited, and enjoying my journey on this MA, however at times I feel I am so out of touch. I know I am capable and willing but I just need to practice, maybe I need a lot more guidance then what is expected at this level. I really feel like a mature student at times. My much loved 26 years in the field seems to be just a number at times. Then when it comes to other areas, I sail though, but the fact that I have fallen in the water so many times, the plain sailing doesn’t seem to smooth to me. I am maybe too hard on myself at times. 

I have had 2 ex-students helping me , job sharing. The extra help is good, the only down side is it is stop and start. 3 /4 hours, a day here, a day there, never confirming in advance.

Week 6

Week 6

The concept for my project will be Absurd  'v, acceptability

What makes one thing acceptable as opposed to another.

We are conditioned to see absurdity as we see fit different cultures ,will have very different veiws on what is Absurd and what is acceptable.These two factors will be interlocked into one garment.

I have been working frantically towards my mid way presentation that’s on Friday. I intend to show 6 designs, as I see this as a selection point, where all the tutors will be there, my decision will be easier to acheive

Once I have started working on a shape I get so attached I end up not wanting to edit anything.

I did show 6 designs at my presentation. The outcome being I must edit and only consider continuing with 3. I feel each piece is a statement. I would enjoy embarking on a journey with all but that would not be possible, due to time constrant.

I have noticed where I am so passionate and really want to do well; I become a bag of nerves when the word presentation is mentioned. I feel my heart racing, my voice trembling, and I can not put a sentence together. This sounds so strange, when I think I have been teaching forever.! I feel like I am going to pass out! Where is that Rescue Remedy when you need it!

I have been told that I need to read more, find people in my field who are doing similar work to me. I have been trying, but it seems I don’t get it right. Research is another of the areas i seem to struggle with.

The up side, Zowie and Sian liked all the designs. i was pleased with the work on the day as i know they were not perfect they are all interesting journeys to embark on. I was told what i had was strong and i could work with whatever i wanted , again i had to decide what i was going to edit. Now all I have to do is select which 3 designs I want to go with. I feel the selection needs to be like opening of a stage curtain, small glimpse then the full stage appears. The original idea in its purest  form then playing with the idea further. I will make one in jersey, and two in suiting.
I feel the whole statement would be a lot stronger if there were at least 6 pieces in the line up; otherwise it's like one lick of an ice cream your left craving more.

Week 5

Week 5

After a great deal of thought and considerationI have decided , to create  a piece that takes into consideration both the first and second part of mt original proposal.  Primary which is now the foundation structures i am working on and the secondary the actual garments, from my initial idea.presentated at the first week. 

I will cut and toile the dress as a normal piece, with the option of possibly adding PVA glue to maintain its shape. The only thing is it would not be able to be worn on an actual body. I am working with Jacq as my model, so everything is tried on her. I am simultaneously working on 3-5 designs. I am really enjoying, the calm along with the neurotic part of toiling. One side the arm resting and the other to look good from every possible angle in all positions.

I now have Charlotte a recent graduateto help me catch up, another pair of hands on board, the only thing is she is not able to do that many hours as she is also working as an intern. 

It has only just dawned on me that I am losing 3 weeks out of 12 due to prior commitment to London College of Fashion, summer school, i was told that i should honour at least 3 of the 9 i had originally agreed to teach on. I will have to catch up some how, it is too important to me not to.

Week 4

Week 4

I have committed to one of my teaching post LCF before staring my MA, now I have to honour my commitment. I feel annoyed that I have to take a week out.

Last session Zowie had said I needed to put up some new images on my wall. I am still drawn to architecture . Research is another one of those areas that I seem to feel scared to go into and when i do i tend to collect so much.. I came  in early to leave my work for Zowie to see, it somehow feels I am not coordinating with my inner self. I feel like i am scratching the surface of what I should be doing, however not sure what this is as yet my concept has not fallen into place just yet.

Good news, one of the students on my short course has said she would model for me so I can fit my dress on a body.

Week 3

Week 3

I continued toiling on my dress with the strips. The fit was still not where I wanted it to be. I think I have found a new joy in sleeves! I love the idea of having a sleeve that is not particularly practical, but looks good.  Its like the sleeves are taking the focus, they are what you look at first and go ‘wow’, what an amazing sleeve. I think I am distracting myself from working on my dress. I seem to have totally been absorbed with my 3D sleeves that the options are endless, however time on my MA isn’t!
I need to get back to the job in hand, a dress with strips enchasing the arm, this is restricting movement in a more visual way, this would be acceptable and not at all absurd, or is it ?

Week 2

Week 2

I have been  focussing on the dress with the inserted  strips, but still not able to get the shape, it’s almost like I am experiencing a writers block, but it's a pattern cutters block in this case.
I worked on an Art easel rather then a stand with the paper strip idea. I think this reflects what’s going on in my head. I am all over the place, lots going on, nothing is really clear. Looks and feels tangled.  I know there is something quite interesting brewing beneath , between or within all this fuss. of the circus like shilouette i have created. 

I am trying new mediums, so I have decided to work with chicken wire, and thread ridgeline through to see what silhouette this gives me. I feel this is so removed from my comfort zone, it’s like the first time you go from a green run to a blue run. You feel really proud and pleased with yourself, it's a whole new adreneline rush. 

However that  wasn’t to last. Zowie basically put me back on the nursery slopes. I was told I was not an artist, what was I doing with an art easel? I was lost and in limbo. I was not going to graduate as an artist so I should stop trying to be one. What i was trying to do would only be possible if i were on a 4 year art and design programme, not a year course.I need to stay with what I know and what I am good at. Well that told me! I did enjoy that very short journey and i  agree with what she is saying!

This being a one year course, I can see why she was trying to reign me back in to what I do, clothes, as there isn’t the time to explore and experiment as this will be to the detriment of my final journey. However I still felt demoralised and knocked down by Zowie’s comments. This is part of my learning cuver.

 Identifying my concept is proving to be a problem, i feel at times that my brain is an empty canvas.  I keep drawing a blank. I am sure when i come up  with a concept it will be good , but when will that be , is the question i keep asking myself. The possibility that i am too old and certain brain cells have been dormant for so long that they are struggling to come to life again.? I don't think i want to beleive that.!